Ongoing Support for a Survivor of Sexual Assault

Coping with sexual assault is a long and complex process, marked by ups and downs, and it affects all areas of life. Sometimes, the impact of the assault can be seen even before the survivor discloses what happened — through changes in behavior, outbursts of anger, unexplained or unusual actions, eating disorders, addictions, and more. These behaviors are always a warning sign of emotional distress and may sometimes indicate the presence of sexual trauma.

A critical step in the healing process is disclosing the abuse and breaking the silence. This moment of disclosure is difficult and highly stressful, often accompanied by fears of being denied, blamed, or met with indifference. This is why it’s important for those around the survivor to be familiar with the principles of providing supportive responses at the time of disclosure.

Even when disclosure is met with understanding and care, and offers some relief, it does not resolve the deep emotional wounds or the damage to relationships. In fact, the act of disclosure itself can sometimes introduce new challenges.

 

Here are some important things to know about ongoing support and accompaniment for survivors of sexual assault:

Sexual assault is a traumatic event that leaves a mark. Unfortunately, there is no magic solution that instantly removes the pain and difficulties accompanying the trauma, and the healing process takes time. It is helpful to learn about the psychological impacts of sexual assault—this can improve understanding of what survivors are going through.

• Be patient. Remember that everyone has their own pace and way of coping, which are beyond our control. Sensitive and effective support means being patient and attentive to the unique needs of the survivor without trying to speed up the process or giving up on it.
• Encourage seeking professional support. When needed, encourage the survivor to receive appropriate professional psychological treatment, where they can process the trauma and improve their mental and functional state. Unprocessed trauma does not disappear; it continues to manifest in various ways in daily life.
• Adapt to changing needs. Tailor your support to the survivor’s current needs. Remember that these needs can change over time, and your support should adjust accordingly.
• Acknowledge the impact on yourself and others. Sexual trauma affects more than just the survivor; it impacts their close environment as well. Supporting a survivor can be frustrating, overwhelming, exhausting, and sometimes anger-inducing. There may be moments of great distress, emotional storms, or rejection from the survivor, which can lead to feelings of helplessness and despair. These reactions are common in the process of dealing with sexual trauma. To provide effective support over time, it’s recommended to seek assistance from qualified professionals for yourself as well, and not to face this alone.
• Maintain a nonjudgmental and accepting attitude, even during crises and frustrating moments. Remember that no one chooses to suffer, and everyone does their best to cope with the pain and distress caused by the trauma.
• Remember — the one responsible for the situation is the perpetrator. The blame lies with the offender, not with the survivor or you.
• Be aware of your own boundaries. Help as much as you can while being mindful of your own limits. If necessary, take a step back and ensure someone else can fill in for you. Avoid commitments or promises you cannot keep. Generally, honesty is better than well-intentioned promises that may lead to disappointment.
• Recognize strengths. Celebrate the good moments, appreciate days with relief from post-traumatic symptoms, and remind the survivor—and yourself—how much strength it takes to cope with the trauma. Highlight achievements, big and small, along the way.

Support centers are here to provide accompaniment and assistance at every stage — for both you and the survivor.